Mari Brainerd Harman, 95, lifelong resident of Edgartown on Martha’s Vineyard, died Thursday, July 20, 2017, in her home on Edgartown Harbor with her children and loving caregivers at her side. Having spent every summer of her life on the Vineyard, she returned to year-round residency a year ago. Mari was at least the third generation of Brainerds to inhabit the Island, a legacy that has continued through three more generations of children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. The Island was always home to her.
Born in Montreal, Canada, on Jan. 24, 1922, Mari was the youngest child and only daughter of Elizabeth McLennan and Winthrop Brainerd. The Brainerds built a summer house in Green Hollow, Edgartown, in 1916, and would spend part of every summer on the Island. Mari learned to sail as a child on the Vineyard, engendering a lifelong love of sailing which led later to summers spent cruising the Eastern Seaboard, including parts of Canada, aboard numerous boats, most especially Nanuk and Nanuk II.
Educated at Netherwood School in New Brunswick and Miss Edgar’s and Miss Cramp’s School in Montreal, Mari attended McGill University for one year before leaving school to drive ambulances for the Canadian Red Cross during World War II.
Mari met her future husband, Archer, in Edgartown, when his family bought a house on Starbuck’s Neck, moving later to one on Tower Hill, abutting the Brainerd property. It was from the porch of a rented house in 1938 that Archer first spotted the girl who would become his wife and who for the next 70 years would be his constant, delighted companion. Growing up together on the Vineyard, Mari and Archer shared many mutual friends and a passion for sailing. They were married in 1944, when Archer was a senior at Yale University, and about to head off to the Pacific Theater in World War II as a commissioned officer in the U.S. Navy.
Mari and Archer raised four children, and eventually welcomed six grandchildren and 13 great-grandchildren. All of the “greats” came to know her well, and loved spending time with her on and off the Island. The family knew her as Bamum, and remained extremely close to her until her death.
While Mari’s husband, Archer, was a highly respected, lifelong educator — he was headmaster of many schools, most notably Peck School in Morristown, N.J., and St. George’s School in Newport, R.I. — Mari assumed the important role of headmaster’s wife, and was at Archer’s side throughout his career, providing support, guidance, and advice. Many former students, teachers, and colleagues cite Mari’s influence as being vitally important in their own lives.
One head of school wrote, “Nobody I have ever known could match Mari for her transparent and enthusiastic pleasure at being in the presence of students in a [school] community. Her energy and humor were contagious. It was simply not possible to remain dour and self-absorbed in her presence.”
Another said, “Your mother was an original and an inspiration to those of us in the [school] business.”
We will remember Mari for her indomitable spirit, her irrepressible good cheer, her fearlessness in the face of convention and preconceived expectations, her boundless energy and enthusiasm, and her ability to find joy in such things as the daily wonders of her bird feeders, cards and creations from her “greats,” swimming (well into her 80s, and usually without a suit), and her large circle of family and friends. She had a particular love of underdogs — be they human or animal — always holding a soft spot for “the naughty ones.” Her family notes that they will not miss Mari’s exceptionally sparsely stocked refrigerator or her adamant refusal that “no one needs dessert after dinner.”
In her retirement years, Mari was anything but retiring. She was a passionate volunteer at the Edgartown Library, in the Edgartown School, and for Head Start. She loved winter, always heading north to New Hampshire and Canada, and was an avid crosscountry skier.
Mari leaves four children, Jane Harman Brewer of Franconia, N.H., Archer Harman III of Tiverton, R.I., David Brainerd Harman of Newcastle, Maine, and John William Harman of Brookline; six grandchildren, Elizabeth, Brett, Ted, Margaret, Katherine, and Jill; and 13 great-grandchildren, Thomas, Carter, Nathaniel, Aram, Travis, Cal, Peter, Jed, Lila, Wenonah, Montana, Noelle, and Marcus. She also adored the in-laws of every generation.
Mari’s final years were happy in large part due to the tireless, loving care provided by Elise and Tom Thomas and Remonia Doctor. The Hospice of Martha’s Vineyard, especially Chantale Duguay and Trudy Carter, made Mari’s final days peaceful and comfortable.
A service of celebration of Mari’s life will be held at the Tower Hill cemetery in Edgartown on Tuesday, August 1, at 11 am, where Mari specified only “bright colors would be allowed.” The service will be followed by a reception down the hill at 189 Katama Road.
Donations in Mari’s name can be made to the Mari and Archer Harman Scholarship at St. George’s School, 372 Purgatory Road, Middletown, RI 02842 or the Edgartown Library, P.O. Box 5249, Edgartown, MA 02539.
Arrangements are under the care of the Chapman, Cole and Gleason Funeral Home, Edgartown Road, Oak Bluffs. Visit ccgfuneralhome.com for online guestbook and information.
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