Herb Custer passed away peacefully, surrounded by family, on August 17, 2023. After 90 years, his enormous heart finally rested, and he was ready to go, with fair winds and following seas.
Herbert Frederick Custer Jr. was born April 3,1933, in Hartford, Conn., into a loving family, the second child of Herbert Frederick Custer Sr. and Claire McFetridge Custer. His paternal grandparents, John and Louise Custer, were from Mecklenburg, Germany. His maternal grandparents, Joseph and Esther McFetridge, were from Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Herb enjoyed a happy childhood and a close relationship with his parents, siblings, and an extended family. Especially memorable were fishing trips with his father, where he developed a love of boats and the sea that lasted his entire life. At age 18, Herb earned his Coast Guard license to operate motor vessels for hire. He graduated from Manchester High School in 1951 and attended the University of Connecticut.
During the Korean War, he joined the U.S. Coast Guard, serving from 1952–56, when he received an honorable discharge as boatswain’s mate 2nd class. He was quietly but sincerely proud of his service, and grateful for the opportunity to learn and serve his country. While serving, he married Catherine Wilusz, with whom he had three daughters: Shari, Alison, and Susan. Following his military service, he resumed college at Central Connecticut State College, graduating in 1959 with a bachelor’s degree in science and certification as a secondary school math teacher. Between 1960 and 1968, he taught at Old Lyme High School, and spent summers operating a charter fishing business out of New London and Niantic, fishing the waters of Long Island Sound, Montauk, and Block Island. Each year, one charter would spend a night in Menemsha Harbor.
In 1968, he earned a master’s degree in education in counseling and guidance from the University of Hartford. That same year, he married Suzan Dill, and moved to Martha’s Vineyard to teach math at the Edgartown School. Daughter Jennifer was born in 1969, and son John in 1970. Herb began working at the Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School, teaching math and coordinating the work-study program. In 1971, he was accepted into a doctoral program at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. He and his family moved to Amherst for a year in residence, and after he earned his Ed.D. in education administration, the family returned to Martha’s Vineyard. Herb then worked as the director of vocational education and assistant principal at MVRHS, securing federal grant funding for the development of five vocational programs. Throughout his career in education, Herb was a strong advocate for vocational education and the important opportunities these programs provided for students. He was proud to observe many former students apply their skills and grow successful businesses in the Island’s trades industries. Herb particularly enjoyed hiring these individuals to work on his home, boats, and vehicles. He believed that all education was valuable, placing particular emphasis on the application of hands-on learning.
From 1991 to 1995, Herb served as the superintendent of schools for the Martha’s Vineyard Public Schools. After a fulfilling, rewarding career in education spanning more than 30 years, he retired in July 1995. He believed in public education and lifelong learning, promoting the advantages they offered for students and communities. At his retirement party, Herb acknowledged friends, colleagues, and students, saying, “Thank you all for helping to make my life so wonderful.” He thoroughly enjoyed teaching and supporting Vineyard students, and highly valued his personal and professional relationships with numerous co-workers.
In retirement, he appreciated having more time to pursue his many interests. Among these were shellfishing in Lagoon Pond, fishing for fluke and striped bass in Vineyard Sound, sailing out of Vineyard Haven Harbor (during his time on the Island, he owned several sailboats), restoring a handful of powerboats and skiffs, and building a guesthouse on his property. For several years following retirement, he commercially shellfished for scallops and quahogs, and also drove a bus for the Vineyard Transit Authority. Herb looked forward to Vineyard visits from his siblings, brother David and sisters Barbara and Melinda. Spending time with them was important to him, as they laughed, reminisced, and affirmed how fortunate they were to be part of a loving family. An annual highlight for Herb was hosting a Christmas party for friends and family at his home in Tisbury, where the festive celebration featured Seafood Newburg and tipsy pudding. A cherished activity in retirement was visiting foreign countries. With dear friends and his companion Jane, he took nearly 20 trips to Europe. Herb loved these tours, often retelling stories of the experiences for years to come. “Pa” took great pleasure in seeing his grandchildren often. He often commented how fortunate he was to live close to them, watching them grow up and become young men and women. He loved attending their dance recitals, soccer games, and graduations, and spending holidays with them. And they all loved the time they spent with him, as he was generous, considerate, and supportive. He took sincere interest in them and their lives.
Herb believed in public service, and he spent 19 years on the Tisbury planning board, 10 years on the Tisbury shellfish advisory committee, 9 years on the Tisbury board of health, and 5 years as Land Bank commissioner. As well, for 46 years he served Freemasonry in Massachusetts with the Martha’s Vineyard Lodge of Ancient Free and Accepted Masons.
In addition to his love of the sea, Herb loved the companionship of dogs, especially golden retrievers. He savored good Scotch, which was a part of his evening ritual for decades. He liked his coffee black, strong, and hot, typically drinking six mugs each day. Herb enjoyed cooking, because, as he would say, he “enjoyed eating.” And he looked forward to watching the nightly news, British programs on PBS, “Seinfeld,” and “Jeopardy.”
Herb leaves daughters Shari Gross (Dan) of Destin, Fla., Alison Harris (Stephen) of Yarmouth, Maine, and Susan Custer of Branford, Conn. He also leaves daughter Jennifer McCabe (Luke) of North Falmouth, and son John Custer (Amy) of Tisbury. He leaves grandchildren Ben Harris and Robin Harris of Yarmouth, Maine; Abigail McCabe, Amelia McCabe, Will McCabe, and Noah McCabe of North Falmouth, and Isabelle Custer and Alison Custer of Tisbury.
He also leaves his beloved sweetheart, partner, and companion, Jane Macuen of Oak Bluffs, with whom he shared many happy adventures, travels, and experiences for more than 30 wonderful years. Herb considered her the love of his life.
Herb was grateful to the Massachusetts General Hospital staff and Martha’s Vineyard Hospital staff for their exceptional care over many years. He respected and admired those in the medical profession, fully trusting nurses and doctors. Many who treated him commented how gracious, pleasant, and thankful he was. Smiling, Herb would say, “They kept me alive a long time.” In Herb’s memory, please consider making a donation to Hospice and Palliative Care of Martha’s Vineyard, online at hospiceofmv.org/donations, or to the Martha’s Vineyard Shellfish Group, online at mvshellfishgroup.org/donate-now.
His burial service will be private. A public celebration of life will be held when the tide and seas are favorable.
Arrangements are under the care of Chapman Funerals & Cremations. For online condolences and more information, please visit chapmanfuneral.com.
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