For the better part of three decades, one well-known Martha’s Vineyard resident’s phrase guided Joe Didato: “Gotta catch the boat.” Whether it was running errands to the mainland, getting kids to get to off Island sports games, or speeding back through Falmouth and Woods Hole to secure a good spot in the standby lane for the Islander, the phrase became a mantra for Joe’s family and his life.
Joe’s father arrived at Ellis Island on a boat from Italy in 1910, and raised a first-generation family in Middletown, Conn. From the moment of Joe’s birth in 1937, an emphasis and interest in education would be a priority in his life. A high school cross-country star from Woodrow Wilson High School, Joe went on to earn degrees from the Teachers College of Connecticut, the University of Connecticut, and Indiana University. Starting in 1959, a long and worthy teaching career began: first in Newburgh, N.Y., then in Yorktown Heights, N.Y., eventually followed by his first guidance counselor post in Westport, Conn.
He met his wife and love of his life, Joan, while in college. Shortly thereafter, he started a family that gave him three sons. Much to Joan’s chagrin, during these years, Joe also acquired various fishing boats, which often spent more time (and money) on land than on the sea. But that was beside the point.
In 1972, a help-wanted ad posted in the New York Times seeking a high school guidance counselor for Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School caught Joe’s eye, and changed the course for both his career and his family. He took the job, grabbed the family, and caught the boat to the Vineyard. For the next 30 years, Joe and family called the Island their home.
From 1972–96, Joe endeavored to give several generations and thousands of MVRHS students the opportunity his father gave to him, to use higher education to expand one’s world. For many Island families, these students were the first to go to college. Some caught the boat and set out on their own paths, others went away to universities and advanced degrees, but came back with the knowledge of the world beyond the boundaries of the Island. He figured either approach to life was/is a good thing.
Joe also made and maintained lifelong friendships with a generation of many of the Island’s beloved public school teachers, Lou Toscano, Dan Sharkovitz, John Morelli, Leroy Hazelton, Jay Schofield, and many others.
While his sons spent summers scraping barnacles off various family boats that sat in the driveway, Joe spent many of his summer hours (after all, anyone in education also needed a summer job) becoming a master craftsman at making custom fishing poles. Under the name Vineyard Stik, he set up a rather productive business designing handcrafted fishing rods for both Island fishermen and wealthy summer residents. He continued making rods well into his retirement, and his basement workshop became a familiar place for fishermen to meet and tell tall tales.
It was with some regret that when a dot-commer walked up to the house one day and offered a surprising sum for his house (which wasn’t even for sale), Joe and Joan took the offer, caught the boat off the Island, and retired to Cape Cod. Truth be told, they did not miss having to catch a boat to run simple errands or go places. But go places and find new adventures, Joe did. In some cases, more boats were involved. Cruises down the Rhine River through Switzerland, another trip to Bermuda, overseas journeys to Italy, and a Band of Brothers pilgrimage with his sons through Europe.
Following his move from the Vineyard, as a longtime (shared) Patriots season ticket holder in the original Mosi’s Mooses section of the old stadium, Joe enjoyed the easier drive to Foxborough, which strangely coincided with the Patriots 20-year dynasty of the 2000 and 2010s. Coincidence? We think not.
Even in retirement, Joe continued to be an educator, serving as an instructor with the Academy of Lifelong Learning on courses that ranged from the history of immigration in America to the historical study of Islam. But he spent the vast majority of his remaining life being the gregarious and lovable Grandpa: showering his granddaughters and grandson with affection; playing in the backyard, exploring the beaches every summer, catching crabs, clamming and fishing … with interludes of hilarious humor and an extraordinary mind for trivia … all of which created indelible memories that will long live.
Joe is survived by an extensive and happy landlocked family, including his wife of 60-plus years, Joan Didato; their sons, Dean Didato of Memphis, Tenn., Barry Didato of Scottsdale, Ariz., and Thom Didato of Richmond, Va., all of whom have imparted the “Gotta catch the boat” mantra to their respective spouses, Kelly, Becky, and Lee Ann, and Joe’s grandchildren, Jackie, Caitrin, Fiona, Sophia, and Cole. A memorial service will be held at a later date.
Joe Didato caught a new boat to his next adventure on August 19, 2023. He will be standing by the snack bar out on deck, enjoying the universe.
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